Dear 2014:
This is the state of "Bobby's Rants" address for
you - being that you are new into the world of Facebook. I only hope that you will find this as
informative and easy to read as the legislation concerning the program
nicknamed "Obamacare."
First off, FYI - I will be increasing my debt limit to
an unknown amount this year. Even though
there is more money changing hands in my household, we don't seem to be able to
pay-off any of our old debt. Our stocks
have increased, but so have the price of electric, gasoline and other luxuries
such as food and medicines (yes - I understand that the aforementioned
Obamacare should be paying for my meds - and they do - but our insurance cost
just doubled today.) We are also
discussing raising the allowances of our children from 75.00 a week to 100.00
dollars a week. We feel that this extra
money will stimulate the economy. Of
course now we will have to raise the rent on our renters, and they will probably raise the cost of the
food that my afore mentioned children are constantly buying - but we feel that
more money moving around the world means better economy - no matter how
worthless that money may be. And by the
way - don't be concerned about us running out of money - we will just print new
-- it doesn't matter if we have nothing to back it... Don't be concerned though - We also have
brought in some undocumented workers to do landscaping, security and pest
control (i.e. the dogs and cats) - we will not be increasing their wages any -
after all why bother - they don't pay taxes and don't spend anymore then the
need to - they all share the same dog bed, bowl and food, and what money is
left over - they bury in the backyard (kind of like sending it overseas).
Next, we are out-sourcing our phones to another
company. Why should I answer the phone
here when I can spend millions preparing manuals to people who will answer the
same questions for me? Who cares if they
have no idea what we are talking about - just as long as the questions get an
answer... So from here on out - anyone
who tries to contact me will get "Thank you for calling Bobby's
Rants. Your call is important to
us. For English press 1 - Espanola -
Dos." After pressing 1 - you should
get someone who speaks English at least as their fourth language, and they will
answer the question quickly. Now if you
need a correct answer - you may have to call back - four or five times -- but
you will get an answer. :)
I am also considering charging my renters and children and
undocumented workers a taw for the air they breathe to pay for the air filters
in the house. By using this air, they
pollute it, so they should have to pay for it to be cleaned. I am giving concessions to the guy in the
backyard burning stuff though - that soot and ash don't pollute as much as y
dogs farts do... Of course - the o won't
pay any taxes - so I guess he will get by too.
I took this idea from MD's rain tax.
We are also going to start having the dog be our Chauffeur,
he should be able to get his license this year in MD due to the new regulations
being considered allowing undocumented persons get their MD drivers'
license working on the whole 10 and 2
thing now.
Now – as for you 2014 – a few things you may want o take
into consideration –just to help move things along. As you are aware – I am disabled and have a
considerable amount of trouble getting around.
My doctor won’t let me return to work, and no company will hire me at my
age with my medical issues. This is not
a pity me statement – just a statement of fact.
Why is it that at least 2 acquaintances of mine have applied and
received Social Security Benefits based on “mental issues” – neither of which
have EVER held a full time job for more than a few years and both have the
physical ability to work part time – and yet am now into month number 20 and 3
appeals later – and still have to fight every 6 months to get $189 in food
stamps. Don’t get me wrong – the others
deserve the help also- I just feel that after 33 years of working – and my
parents 60+ years before me who also never collected a dime From Social Security
– I should have a little leeway on this…
Just Sayin’
Thanks for letting me rant – good luck 2014 – you are going
to need it
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